I’m Breaking Up with You, Puny Shrimp!
Tonight is the night that I break up with you. Once and for all… FINALLY. I’m done with this. I’m finished with you. I can’t stand your small size, your weakness, your countless inadequacies. I’m finished with all the bother and trying with all my might to boost your confidence and make you feel more like a man.
I’m tired of PRETENDING that you’re not as short as you actually are. I’m even going to call up my NEW boyfriend to prove it to you. Yes, he knows all about you and how embarrassing and pathetic you are. I just can’t believe that you just won’t realize that I’m actually finally leaving you. How could you possibly think that you were enough for me?!?!