There’s a Particular Position I Think You’re Perfectly Suited For
Hello there. Don’t worry about giving me your name. It’s of no matter to me. You’ll have to get used to my bluntness as well… if you want to work here. Now, why do you feel you’re actually qualified for this position at a Fortune 500 firm? Oh, is that so? Allow me to look over your resume while I prop my feet up on the desk. Ah, that’s better.
Oh, I’m sorry, were my feet and high heels right in front of your face? Well, I thought you’d actually enjoy that. You see, the fact of the matter is that you’re horribly underqualified for the position you originally applied for. Yes, that’s right. But… there is another position available, a position directly beneath me, that you may be perfect for.
You see, I conducted a thorough background check on you as I do all of my applicants and interviewees. You have left a trail a mile long in the foot fetish community on the internet…