“I am often hesitant to purchase others’ clips, because more often than not I find they don’t quite live up to my expectations. Yours blew me away.”

"I am often hesitant to purchase others' clips, because more often than not I find they don't quite live up to my expectations. Yours blew me away."

You’re Going to Be Forced to Be with Me through Thin or THICK

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10 January 2012

You’re a high-powered businessman with a real agenda. You’re going places. And I’m so proud to be your wife. I keep myself so neat and perfect for you, staying in shape and guarding my figure to make you happy and proud. Your money helps keep me looking oh-so good. …I just intended to ask if you and your business associates needed anything during your important meeting.

I didn’t know I’d overhear something that would be so devastating to me…. I can’t f***ing believe that you consider me NOTHING MORE than a trophy wife!!!!! All this time… all these years… all my effort… and all you peg me for is a pretty face. I had no idea how little respect you had for me.

I need to teach you exactly what a loving relationship really is; I need to test your commitment. You took those marriage vows along with me; we’re together through… thick or thin! Wait a minute… that’s it! You MUST be with me even if I’m THICK!

The first chance I get, the first moment you leave on one of your many business trips, I’m going to start stuffing my face… I’m going to cram in as much food as possible, throw dieting right out the window and load up on all the foods I haven’t had in so long. I can’t wait to develop a big fat belly and wide-legged waddle! Too bad you didn’t make me sign a prenup…